If you’re in the online dating landscape then there are some things to know–online dating has changed tremendously since the MySpace and BlackPlanet days. Back then it was fun–granted we were younger but the relative newness of access to people all over the globe made it less sleazy and more genuine. These days individual motives are so diverse and there’s no fool-proof way to determine if a person is truly who they say they are, hence the Cat Fish era. As a past online dater myself I’ve been through a slew of situations that I feel may help women looking for love.
First, it’s all about knowing what you want. Do you want something casual, or are you seeking your soul mate? Knowing exactly what you want and being strict about it will help you focus and weed out the undesirables. Your online presentation is next, put some great pictures up, a couple head shots, a couple body shots, and even a couple leisure shots. This will give viewers a clear picture of how you look and who you are. Make these pictures current, within the past three months or less and be cognizant of what you’re wearing in your pictures if you don’t want to send out the wrong visual message–but by all means, dress as you would in your pictures as you would in real life.
The bio is the aspect that I hate and most struggle with; writing about yourself… it’s good to be detailed here but don’t write a book, a paragraph will suffice–most men have short attentions spans anyway. Be sure to select your criteria for men to contact you i.e. age, height, location etc. Once your profile is complete then you can search! The good thing about search is that you are in control and there’s a greater chance of you conversing with a guy that you’re physically attracted too.
Now that your basic profile is intact it’s time to bring you current of the pitfalls of online dating. There are more bad experiences online than good. Personally, I have never fully experienced a paid site and chose not to for personal reasons; however, if you’re thinking of joining a paid site I recommend joining only when there’s a free trial offer. It’s important to note that most guy’s on an online site are on MULTIPLE SITES the site you found them on may just be one of many. So while you think you’re only competition with Johnny is the assortment of fish on POF he may also be on OKCupid and Tinder and any other site simultaneous. Mix in all the distractions from multiple dating apps, work and social life your Johnny can be pulled in various directions having many experiences of diverse natures. Longevity, it’s not a good sign when you discover a man has been on a dating app for say–over a year. Yes, there are shitty women out there but there’s more women that are seriously looking for commitment than men. If a man has been on a dating site for a very long time it could be an indication that he’s merely just playing the field. I say this because men are the steering wheel of relationships, they are the deciding factors on when the relationship is official, they decide on marriage etc. the one thing we control is sex; after that, they have all the power. So it’s a good idea to not even speak about sex until you’re absolutely sure you’ve found someone that’s willing to take things off the internet and both become monogamous.
Deception: Take what’s posted on an in-depth site with a grain of salt. Aspects such as career, height, and children may be outdated and/or a flat out lie. If a man that lists his height in the 5ft range decrease that height by two inches, shorter men like to cushion their height because they know women like tall guys. So if he say’s he’s 5’9 equate for 5’7. Here are a few more examples: One guy’s profile said he didn’t have kids when we spoke on the phone at one point the fact that he had two kids was brought up and his excuse was his “my profile was set up by a friend”. Another guy didn’t advise me of having a child until we ended up arguing when I was in the midst of cutting him off, his excuse was, “I never asked”. The moral is, people will try and deceive you as a prat of their own agenda. An experience of a career fib is when I saw a guy on-line who I personally know who actually had a good job but his job listed was something he had a few years back and his reason was “I was too lazy to update it and if I talk to the girl, then I’ll them then”. These excuses have no place in the on-line dating world. Your selections are based on personal preferences hence your expectation is having a truthful and as accurate indication of the person you might be interested in getting to know, and once the truth is revealed those untruths might be a deal breaker for you, vice versa.
Photos: Know that a man’s man may not take a lot of pictures so the pictures on his profile may not be as current as yours. Be sure to ask “how long ago was your pictures taken?” they might follow with “it was taken X date, but I still look the same”… In their minds, they still look the same but in actuality, they may have started balding and have gained a few pounds that to them isn’t noticeable. It’s best to try to ask for social media profiles to get a better insight of their looks, as well as ask for pictures and video chat prior to meeting in person to ensure no surprises for both parties involved.
Another profile blunder is some men will put that their “seeking a relationship” when their not, this is a mechanism that is often used to bait women. You may think he’s looking for something serious and end up going too far then later realizing that you’ve been got! The only thing that can minimize this is truly getting to know a person before acting on desires. Always listen to your female intuition and know that a man’s intent with you is primarily shown through action. How often does he communicate with you? does he keep his word? what are your conversation concerning,? does he show a genuine interest in your well-being? have you been to his place?!!! These are all things to consider when narrowing down a perspective mate.
All things being considered, there is no foolproof way of avoiding all the pitfalls of online dating but with these suggestions, you’ll be keen to the tactics and armed to make an educated dating decision.
Disclaimer: Men, this article is for the serious female on-line dater, which doesn’t include those women only interested in a free meal.
P.S. Shout out to my friend Charlene G. who suggested I write this topic.
Comment, Repost and Like this article!
No part of the materials available through the www.TheLuxeFare.com may be copied, photocopied, reproduced, translated or reduced to any electronic medium or machine-readable form, in whole or in part, without prior written consent of Deidra “Deja” Barrett. Any other reproduction in any form without the permission of Deidra “Deja” Barrett is prohibited.